I will always continue to destroy myself.
I’ve allowed myself to be disposed.
The most fucked up year of my life
I knew it was wrong.
I knew it was wrong but why did I continue to do it? Why did I continue to overly exert myself? Why did I continue to put up with the pain? It’s not like I was ever in love with him. It’s not like I had a future with him. It’s not like he was the right person for me. Then why did I do it?
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July 5th-met him
july 7th-gave myself to him so carelessly
july 7th-found out the truth about him
july 22nd-last time i saw him in person
september 14th-i finally confessed the truth
two months of beating myself emotionally, two months of lies, two months of holding back the truth when it was slowly just swallowing me, and now finally i can heal.
Was telling the truth really worth it? Why do I feel like I lost something when really I erased someone from my life that was just ruining me? Why do I do this to myself? Do I really hate myself that much?